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Pregnancy: Not in My Future
Two words you won’t hear out of my mouth are, “I’m Pregnant.” The only way they would come out is by God’s grace and at the moment immaculate conception.
In 2005, not long after Hurricane Katrina, I became barren but not by choice. My body was attacking itself. One area highly impacted was the adrenal gland. Inside my cells were fighting an enzyme needed in the reproductive system. In turn, this caused me to stop making eggs and I no longer had a cycle.
Besides the adrenal gland being under attack, the thyroid had a war waged against it. The medical term for that is Hashimoto’s or underactive thyroid.
A bible passage I highlighted in my Bible is Isaiah 54.
Sing, O barren, You who have not borne! Break forth into singing, and cry aloud, You who have not labored with child! For more are the children of the desolate Than the children of the married woman, says the Lord.
~ Isaiah 54:1
The first verse tells me to rejoice that I have not laboured and am barren. God promises that although I can’t reproduce, I will have more children as a part of my life.
God is true to his word for I have three nieces, two nephews, several young cousins, and numerous friends kids I feel blessed to have in my life.
I have eaten lunch with many of these children at school, volunteered in the classrooms (reading with other children), taken to church, attended performances, tutored, celebrated special events, etc with them through the years.
Although the children I’ve interacted with grow older, I’m happy they are comfortable coming to me to talk or for advice.
I receive joy from nurturing their dreams, talents, and lives.
To the women struggling with being barren, my advice is to cling to God’s promises. God has the power to make barren women mothers.
If I had a time machine, I’d tell my younger self to harvest some eggs before 2004. This way I can ensure that I would have a few more options.
Since that’s not possible, I continue my life rejoicing in God’s Word and embracing the children who come into my life.
When I marry the man God made for me, we can examine the possibilities of fostering or adopting.
For now, I’m living in the moment loving the children in my life that I can return to their parents.
